EMBRACING YOU - CELEBRATING YOU! The Single You

30 + years and not yet married, the lists of wants and what one gets in life gets hazier by the day for the myriad of women walking the streets. Especially with life being the constant spin to gain an education, a promotion, a nice home in a nice location and to top that, a nice man in tow. Well so much for the list. I guess we all have to reconcile with the list that never came to pass at times. Most often the frustrations compiled with biological clock ticking makes one desperate to check off some items on the list such as a godly man, a man with a good education, with good manners, good looks etc.

Society just seems to be built for two, cars are made with more than two seats, restaurant seats set are for twos and naturally topics of conversations veer to if whether one is married or not. So singles walk around feeling like emotional lame ducks, not quite getting acceptance and often viewed with suspicion. How could you be single for so long, are you? …. you can fill the blanks.
Inevitably one would expect the singles to just fade away to oblivion, the sigma of not understood by the public, deemed as being selfish or unemotionally disconnected to what is happening around them.

They say life is a teacher, and life’s teachers are our peers, parents and providence if you like. Heartbreaks, setbacks, challenges, victories are all part of the masters that teach the soul that life is a journey where one must stop, pause and ask questions or take note.
If one took a road that supposedly led to a known destination, and several attempts later doesn’t get one there, it would reckoned that another route is the option.

So the question to face is that you are single, have been for as long as you can remember, you sister, yours sister’s friends, their girlfriend, their girlfriends friends get married and the cycle goes on and on and yet somehow you don’t get hitched or get the fantastic relationship you yearned for. What happens to the “wish list” and what life eventually gave you.

Life can be a Pandora like gift, you never know what opportunities it brings about, the happy ever endings fairy books and movies often don’t see the single trudging happily alone into the sunset, it doesn’t say and she or he lived alone happily ever after, it doesn’t depict a marriage to self where one conveys promises to be faithful and true to self until death one departs.

Can one embrace ones life, for all its worth and accept that ones status is just the setting one has in the plot called life, and the main character is more important than the scene? Embracing ones life is self accepting and that includes the good things and not so appealing areas. Embracing self is very rewarding, it is a gift society will not often grant but it’s the one gift that refuses to dwell on efforts to belong, efforts to be in the right books, efforts to be the part… whatever that is.

This is a love story with self. It’s not a call to be perfect or politically correct, it’s a simple realisation that the master of the universe painstakingly took his time to create you, to him the work of art is a masterpiece. Situations and challenges do not negate the fact that his principle object of love is you. Celebrating you is being kind and accepting of ones greatness and limitations, it’s about allowing adventure and finding out what truths and joys lay latent awaiting expression. It’s about self love which is not selfish or indulgent. It’s a humble acceptance of self for even the good word says that one can not love a neighbour without loving self.

Therefore embracing self is also letting go of depreciating self evaluations imposed from whatever source. Perhaps another list ought to be drawn, a list where self appreciation and gratitude for anything and everything that pertains to you. This list can easily be checked day by day because positive things can and are perceived. Developing a heart to go to a mirror and embrace the creation before it. Embrace the scars, embrace the wrinkles and embrace the life that is yours and agree with the master of the universe that you are indeed a singular sensation.

By T. Walmsley

CELEBRATING YOU! The Single You